OP Just For Laugh Collection
by Jester310
Summary: Collection of jokes in OP version. Ch 3: Office Memo. Akainu sends an office memo to all marines.
1. Author's Note

**Dear readers,**

**I need to inform you guys beforehand that I DID NOT make these jokes myself. Most of 'em I found it in some sites and book before I rewrite them back into OP version. (Although I modified a lil' bit here and there). This early note is to prevent myself from getting flamed and stuff like that. Thank You.**

**Yours truthfully,**

**Jester310**

**P/S Since I'm in giddy mood right now, so reading gags and sharing them with you guys are just for killing time and enlightened my mood. No worries, I still haven't neglected my other stories and currently working on them. **


	2. The Surgery

**Title: Things You Don't Want To Hear From Trafalgar Law during Surgery**

**Rating: K**

**Starring: Trafalgar Law and Heart Pirates**

**A/N: I smiled like a lunatic while reading this one.**

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><p><strong>Things You Don't Want To Hear From Trafalgar Law during Surgery:<strong>

1. Wait a minute, if this is a spleen, then what's that?

2. Penguin, hand me that… uh… whatever it's called!

3. Oh no! We're surrounded by warships! Abandoned the patient!

4. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness!

5. "Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad dog!"

6. Better save that. We'll need it for autopsy.

7. There go the lights again…

8. You know… There's a big money in kidneys. .. And this guy got two of them!

9. Everybody stand back! I lost my earring…

10. Could someone stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration off.

11. I really dislike it when they are missing stuffs in here.

12. That's pretty interesting! Now can you make his leg twitch?

13. Well everyone, this will be an experiment for all of us.

14. Are you sure it wasn't this leg?

15. Bepo, did this patient sign the organ donation card?

16. Don't worry. I think its sharp enough.

17. Damn… Page 47 of the manual is missing…

18. Now from where did this spider come in?

**-End-**


	3. Compassionate Home Leave

**Title: Compassionate Home Leave**

**Rating: T**

**Staring: Smoker and Tashigi**

**Spoilers: Language and forgery. .**

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><p><strong>xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo<strong>

Smoker, the Marine Commodore was reviewing the troops in G-5 base.

One man he passed sported an enormous erection.

"Tashigi!" The grey haired man shouted."Give this man 30 days compassionate home leave."

"Yessir," the Ensign replied.

A few months later the same thing occurred with the same man.

"Tashigi! Give this man another 30 days compassionate home leave," Smoker barked.

A few months later, same guy, same problem.

The White Hunter is angry, veins starts to pop on his forehead. "Tashigi! Haven't we given this man two compassionate home leaves?"

"Yessir," She replies.

"Then what's his problem, dammit?" Smoker asks.

Tashigi salutes and says, "Smoker-san. It's you he's fond of."

**-End-**


	4. Office Memo

**Chapter 3: Office Memo**

**Rating: T**

**Source: A site called CITEHR**

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><p><strong>To: All Marines<strong>

**From: Fleet Admiral Akainu**

Dear JUSTICE upholders,  
>It is advised that all marines to come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing designer knickers and carrying a glittering bag we assume that you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.<p>

**Personal Days:**  
>Each marine will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.<p>

**Lunch Breaks:**  
>Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average size. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.<p>

**Sick Days:**  
>We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to fight under the name JUSTICE.<p>

**Restroom Use:**  
>Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of 3 minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the Marine HQ bulletin board under the "Chronic Offender" category.<p>

**Surgery:**  
>As long as you are employed here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed will constitute a breach of employment.<p>

**Hallway:**

Those who walks slow along the hallway will get a heavy penalize. That is to say, shuffling their feet like zombies while taking up the entire passageway will not be tolerated. Pasifistas with motion detector will be placed at every corner and those shuffling in insufficient speed will be blasted on the spot.

Thank you for your loyalty to the military sea force. We are here to maintain a law and order throughout the world and impose the will and might of the World Government. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, and input should be directed elsewhere.

Have a nice week.


End file.
